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Dancing around the issue, even as I start from the beginning.

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Apr. 29th, 2014 | 12:52 pm
location: Front Royal, VA.
mood: Cold. Sad. Stubborn.
music: None.

The philosophical basis of my existence is individual, self-tended happiness.
I spent a lot of time coming to that conclusion, but I'm happy with it as a reason-for-living, as an answer to the Great, Persistent question of Why.
It's not very deep, but after a thorough and discerning examination, I don't think life is very deep. A glimpse into the cesspools and pure springs alike will lead you to a shallow and predictable end every damn time, trust me.
The world isn't a miserable place, don't mistake me. I'm not lamenting the fact that things are often simpler than people make them out to be, just acknowledging it.
Perceived complexities frequently stem from a desire to not see oneself or one's surroundings as clearly as they actually can appear. From a desire to be different from other, evil and boring, people that you meet. From a desire to believe in one's own specialness, talents, and accomplishments. From a desire to find something to follow, believe, love, or cling to while feeling those actions are justified.
Nothing is ever justified, not by rationality or virtue. Not absolutely, in any case. But things are always worth clinging to, loving, believing in. It's just often best to remember that you're doing it for yourself, not for any inherent virtue or truth or beauty in the object chosen.
So says all that I've seen, assessed, internalized, and rejected. Your mileage may vary, but the fact remains that my motivation for living is that self-serving and self-tended happiness. (No, it's not always selfishness. Again, don't mistake me.)
And I've been having a lot of that lately.
But now it's gotten difficult.
That's all.

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